Cincinnati sports fans explained

I just had an epiphany. I figured out why Cincinnati Reds/Bengals fans stay so in love with our marginal teams.

Ok, so today was the trading deadline in Major League Baseball and the first day of training camp for the NFL.

The trade deadline is a big second-half-of-the-season landmark. This is the day where contenders go out and get what position they are in need of most for their playoff push, and pretenders ship off their only good player in exchange for some hyped minor league prospects. At this point in the season the Reds are somewhere in the middle. We aren't a contender (mostly because this last month we sucked hard), but we definitely aren't a pretender either. We have a good starting rotation, a solid bullpen, and some great young players, a few of which are hurt. O yeah, not to mention today the Reds shipped off Edwin Encarnacion and some prospects for Scott Rolen. Yeah, that guy who has 7 GOLD GLOVES!

Sidenote: For those of you that don't know about my intense passion for the Reds, Edwin Encarnacion has been the player I have loathed the most in my whole life. And to put this in perspective, Barry Larkin almost ran me over with his pink Porsche on my 9th birthday, and I hate Encarnacion more. At least Barry Larkin could play the field. And he was smooth when he did. Edwin is gone, a serious hatred has just left me and I feel refreshed.

Anyways, the Reds season is winding down, and it isn't really looking too good for the post season. But, fancy that, the Bengals just started training camp today.

Just like years passed, the Bengals are getting some hype. We have the potential to be really good this year. Everyone is healthy (it's only been one day, but last year two guys went down), and we could make some noise and rattle some feathers. Have we done that for the past 6 seasons since we've had the dynamic duo of Carson Palmer and Chad Johnson/Ochocinco? No, the one good season ended with a ceremonial dropkick to the gonads - Carson Palmer goes down in the first round of the playoffs, against the Steelers of all teams, with a mangled leg.

The moral of this story Cincinnati Sports fans, is we always have the potential, year in and year out, we just haven't done anything with it for a while. The Reds last made it to the playoffs when we tied the Mets for the Wild Card in 2001, but lost the one game playoff. Hardly counts. And I already mentioned the Carson Palmer fiasco 4 years back. We're a next year kinda town. The preseason's the best season because we don't have any other teams showing us that good on paper doesn't necessarily translate to good on the field.

The only team that we can rely on to take us to the post season each year, and play better each time, is, drum roll please, the Xavier University Musketeers men's basketball team. Let's go X!

New stuff

I decided to take a 'me' day today. I painted a wedding present, and finally had a peaceful house all to my own to get lost in poetry. So here ya go, my two new poems, hot off the presses. Enjoy.

1

The heavens start to stir

the glowing bulbs swing and sway,

dancing on an immense blue canvas, 

performing our cosmic ballet.

Try not to blink,

perfection might streak by.

The world seems alive tonight. 

Everything is a different when you're at my side.

2

Like a mirage in the distance

it was hard to believe the scene.

A goddess stood through the doorway

captivating me with ambrosia eyes. 

I was visited by intrinsic beauty,

paralyzing me where I sat,

mesmerized by her enchanting melody.

I knew I had found my muse.

Who watches the Watchmen?

Weekly movie review time. This week its Watchmen. 

Watchmen

Starring: Carla Gugino, Robert Downey Jr., Malin Akerman, a neon blue guy, and Rorschach inkblot faced guy.

****** 6/7 stars

I knew little to nothing about this movie/graphic novel, but I heard that the comic book geeks flooded the theaters when it came out, so I rented it. Turns out this is an amazingly written graphic novel turned screenplay. I just watched it twice in 24 hours and the second time secured the 6th star. The action between this group of Cold War era super-human heros is a combination of the most creative wounds and perfectly directed gore I have seen in a while.  These superheroes have to all come to the realization that by having so much power they are actually making the world a worse place. The plot line is genius and if you pay close attention (or watch it a couple of times) you can realize it really is a tragic story. And there are boobs.

Top 15

This is my list of Top 15 movies of all time - because 10 is just too hard.

1) Free Willy

2-15) (in no particular order)

- Beautiful Girls

- Lion King

- V for Vendetta

- Domino

- Hercules

- Happy Feet

- Jurassic Park

- Forrest Gump

- Transformers 

- Knocked Up

- The Sandlot

- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

- The Goonies

- The Natural

That's that. And that was really hard.

This is the future

This my friends, might be the coolest thing I have seen in a long time. A functional 3G cellphone subcutaneous tattoo. Check the link if you think I'm kidding.

http://www.physorg.com/news122819670.html

Remember the Alamo

So I'm off to San Antonio for my cousin's wedding. Should be an awesome time. I'm waiting to see how different the thick, humid Atlanta air is going to compare to the San Antonio obliterating heat. 

Update: Just got picked up at the San Antonio airport, it's 9:40pm, and it's 94 degrees. This weekend is going to involve a few triple digit days. Sweet.

Inspirational Tunes

Considering how my stress levels have reached an uber high, here's a short list of inspirational songs. At least, my favorites.

Go the Distance - from Disney's Hercules

My Place in this World - Michael W. Smith

Keep the Faith - Michael Jackson

The World's Greatest - R. Kelly

Dirty and Left Out - The Almost

Coming Home - City and Colour

Home - The Classic Crime

Anyways, those are the songs that always help me keep my head up and know that no matter what happens, life goes on.

This is pretty much awesome.

http://moonpublicity.com/mp/

Who wants to advertise on the moon?  I DO.  I've decided to place my logo (yet to be designed) on the moon to ensure brand recognition and getting a job.

I've been saving these.

Here's a short list of the funniest (according to me) submissions from tfln (or for you terribly misinformed people, textsfromlastnight.com).

(571): he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time

(970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.

(303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.

(603): Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels

(1-603) Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know

(562): I wanna eat

(562): then frost

(562): then eat your cupcake

(513): Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives

(936): Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....

(210): I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.

(519): Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.

(469): Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them

(306): and on the seventh day, God created megan fox

(936): what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?

(901): All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.

If you're not convinced this is the funniest website on the interweb, send me your link, because this shit is hysterical.

amazing random news.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090718/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_wienermobile_wreck

O hey Jim, did you know theirs a giant wiener penetrating your home?

I came to rep my 'hood

Pretty sweet new article on the good ol' Queen City I found on nytimes.com. Check it out if youre interested in a little history/ culture brief of the city I love.

'19 Hours in Cincinnati'

http://travel.nytimes.com/2009/07/19/travel/19hour.html

BIll Cosby in Jell-O

Seriously. This is some awesome stuff. I want this to be the cake at my wedding.

http://www.geekologie.com/2009/07/cosby_shots_bill_cosby_in_jell.php

Dib's on his left eye!

A new reality show on Fox, Idol Alums Gone Wrong

LOVE IT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8ItnxlpAc8

WANTED: The Half Blood Prince.

POW! right in the kisser. Here comes two more movie reviews, one for the highly anticipated Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince, and the other for a pretty recent movie, Wanted.

Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince

Starring Rupert Grint, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and all the other random characters that have been in the other 5 movies.

***** 5/7 stars

I liked this movie, what I didn't like was the slumber party of 13 year-old girls in the row behind me getting all giggly every time Harry did something. Anyhow, I'm not one of those people that is a HP purist, I'm just a fan of both the books and movies. If the movie strays from the book I don't really mind, as long as it doesn't take away from the movie. Now this movie just opened a couple hours ago so I really don't want to give anything away. But, lets just say if you remember the the cave part from the book - it's  better than I could have ever imagined in the movie. 

Wanted

Starring James McEvoy, Morgan "my voice is more amazing than God's" Freeman, Common, o yeah, this really incredibly attractive woman, Angelina  Jolie.

******* 7/7 stars

BADASS MOVIE. Plain. And. Simple. This movie took badass-assassin-movies to a divine level. The Fraternity carries out executions woven to them in code by the 'Loom of Fate.' So what I gather is that these are Fate's assassins. The action in this movie is the most creative I have seen in a while. The kills are so farfetched but made probable by the stellar direction. "Kill one, and maybe, save a thousand. That's the code of The Fraternity, that's what we believe in, and that's why we do it." That's a quote from Jolie's character, explaining why they do what they do. 

More Descriptive Writing

This is stuff I had fun writing last quarter, so I wrote a couple of them a few days ago.

The Taste of Hose Water

It's instant refreshment on a hot summer day. Light or quick, you pick the speed, guzzling mouthful after mouthful before you switch gears from four-square to wiffle ball. The neighbors take their place in line, waiting for their taste at this heavy earthen fountain.

The Sight of Fireworks

Locked and loaded, butt firm against my shoulder. I hold the shotgun steady, gathering my thoughts. Poised, I take aim and call out, 'PULL.' The target, a paint can, hurdles through the air. 'BANG,' a green show flashes in front of us. 'BANG,' next its blue, then purple. Over and over, color after color scatters the landscape, an explosive show in the sky.

The Taste of an Orange

Tossing it up and down, it's food you can play with. Its tough rubbery shell protects it from impact. Pierced by a fingernail the sweetness immediately puts your nose in a stranglehold, filling the room with its fresh aroma. Slice by slice you devour it, savoring the boost to your senses. Your tongue is the focal point, teeth puncturing the fruit, releasing the juices that dance on your pallet.

The Sound of an Acoustic Guitar

An echo; most think of dolphins, shouting across the Grand Canyon, or a loud 'Hello' in an ornate foyeur. I think of fingertips brushing across tightly coiled steel strings, knuckles against a hollow body. This elegant echo builds in the caverns of this wooden box, releasing the most melodious of all reverberations.

The Sound of Bedtime

It's the soft lick as a cat cleans itself at the foot of the bed. The gentle patter of rain against the lights in the next room. A whispering wind circulating the never stagnant bedroom air. The soft, rhythmic whip of a flag flapping outside your window. This is the orchestra of sleep.

Dad's Garage

You know, that place where things don't ever get finished, and directions get cast aside. It might be a safe haven with chaotically organized yard supplies hanging on the walls and stashed on dusty shelves. Or maybe you're thinking of the place where a car hasn't been able to park for almost a decade because you're parent's super power is saving things from the garbage. 

You're wrong, no matter what you were thinking (unless you're talking about an improv comedy theatre here in Atlanta). The place is Dad's Garage Theatre Company, and their improv is ridiculous. Ridiculous is the perfect word. I even looked it up on dictionary.com, it says  'adjective, meaning laughable.' That's exactly what Dad's was, incredibly laughable.  They have all kinds of different improv shows including a circus themed soap opera, something called Fingertips, and tonight's main event: TheatreSports. 

TheatreSports is two teams of 3 competing against each other in various games and scenarios. Tonight must have been my lucky night, because the troupe was extra hilarious for the MTV Made cameras. I haven't quite figured it out, but they brought a girl on stage for a skit where they randomly busted out into free style rapping. The story for the cameras was that she was being 'Made' into a pageant queen, with freestyling as her talent? I'm not really sure, but thats what I deduced from the situation.  The girl was actually pretty funny in the skit. 

All of the skits were funny, but the funniest of all was a Ballet about Swine Flu. Yeah, let your imagination wander. They took it further.

Overall its a great show, hilarious people, and worth the fifteen bucks.  O yeah, they sell beer there too.

I like this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cwlL9tZo30

Lyrics are in the info bar on the side if you're interested.  Great song. Enjoy.

Some stuff I've written

This is just a few things I wrote last quarter that aren't for advertising.  Some descriptions and some poems. 

The Touch of Snowball

It's instant stimulation, the nervous system cavalry racing to your brain. Before you realize anything your body does its best to stop it by sending more internal army men to hold of the influx of cold.  Like the confederates in winter, the counteroffensive can only last so long. The cold starts to win the war. First winning the battle at the fingertips, then onto taking over the knuckles. You make your stand at the palm where thousands more nerve ending infantry stand, waiting to stave off the enemy's  push toward hypothermic world domination.

The Smell of Fresh Cut Grass

It's the smell of Springtime. It's contagious the way it first blankets a neighborhood with its allergen filled cloud, squeezing into your home through open windows and screen doors. Dense with dew, the smell is heavy in the air, getting heavier as each summer day goes by. Adolescent chores have turned into home maintenance. 

A couple poems

1

There we were, all alone,

enjoying the early December night.

I could almost see my breath

when a shiver shook my spine.

Silence took over as I thought, 

'tonight will shine in my memory.'

We sat with fingers clasped

as I snuck a peek to my left,

her moonlit beauty was stunning.

Speechless, my lips first answered 

every unspoken question hers had.

It was the end of the beginning.

2

The Sun rises over industry.

It's 7:59am on a Wednesday,

The Western world awakes from its slumber

To find the same scenery as the day before.

Our planet is diminishing before our eyes.

Splurging and consuming,

Unconsciously fueling the destructive fire;

Even hairspray does its part.

Reserves are rapidly shrinking,

Evicting the world of old,

To construct another open air mall

Where nature dies, and the ignorant thrive.

3

I know your secret, 

So don't be shy

Let your halo float

And your wings unwind

You're the angel I've been waiting for.

4 (This poem was actually published by poetry.com on the first page of their annual poetry collection)

I'll be right there with you,

when they all leave you broken,

with a heart full of hope.

I'll be right there with open arms,

to wipe off your cheeks,

trying to keep mine dry.

I'll be there with listening ears,

to tell you to be strong,

because I can't be anymore.

I'll be there by your side,

a friend you can never shake,

with tear clouded eyes.

I'll be there when you're alone,

telling you you'll find him soon,

wishing you'd see I'm him.

O yeah, I like movies too.

I would consider myself a pretty big movie fan. Having all the cable movie channels On-Demand on my tv has given fuel for many late nights writing copy for school. Todays movie review is brought to you by AT&T U-Verse cable, and their video rental service. It has made my life way easier. 

He Just Not That Into You

Starring Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, E from Entourage, The Mac Guy, Drew Barrymore, Scarlett Johansson and some other girl who spells Jennifer 'Ginnifer'

***** (5/7 Stars)

I was pleasantly relieved after I watched this movie. I saw the so-called All Star cast, and figured it was a romantic comedy from the title, but it actually turned out to be a pretty good flic. There are so many characters I expected it to be a clusterfuck of friends screwing a friend of a friend whose coworker is stuck in the friend zone. I don't want to give anything away to anyone who hasn't seen it, but its worth the rental fee.

This one will stick.

I've had a few blogs, and about a dozen journals lay full on my bookshelf, but now it's time to go into the digital age for good. Diving in head first, I caved and joined twitter.  When I say I caved, I mean I had to for class.  Don't expect to know where I am every second of the day.  It will most likely end up being random thought bubbles that pop in my head throughout the day. Get excited internet world.

On this blog you can expect to me to share my views, musings, rants, and tangents about anything I want to. And right now, I want to talk about year two, quarter 5, at The Creative Circus.

I haven't even gone through a full week of classes, and I'm already scared.  Brand Extensions, a class where we take a brand, and extend it is going to be an unreal time commitment.  We don't even have an idea chosen yet because our previous two have been done.

I'm also taking a class called Copycrafting, which I was clueless about until class today. And now that I've been enlightened, I'm actually a bit anxious.  Excited to explore other avenues of writing, nervous about the intense workload.  I'll keep you posted.

The class I haven't been to yet, is the one I'm most nervous about. It's a 3rd quarter Headlines class that I'm mentoring, or in Lehman's terms, I'm going to be a Teacher's Assistant.  I took this class, but I had a different teacher. I don't have any idea how it's going to turn out, once again I'll have to fill you in in a week or two.

Just like momma makes it.

My entire life I’ve been skin and bones.  In fact I don’t think I hit triple digits on the scale until I was a sophomore in high-school.  Back then I could eat anything and everything and still almost look starved. Now, only 5 years removed from high-school, I’ve had to start thinking about what I eat and drink.  If you know me personally you know I’m by no means a health freak.  My diet consists of food that I think tastes good, not food that I think is good for me.  I drink way too many sugar laced drinks like Mountain Dew, Monster Energy drinks, and an obscene amount of Arizona’s since I don’t drink coffee.  I know it seems unlikely but I actually love fresh fruit juice.  My mom bought one of those QVC juicers a while back, and every time I stopped home for a visit I was greeted as soon as I walked in the door with "Do you want some juice?”  I never thought in a million years I would miss having a QVC product in the house.  I moved to Atlanta from home (Cincinnati) a year ago, and since then to get my juice fix in the afternoons I’ve been buying those gallon bottles of Kroger brand juice.  Its just not the same.  No where close.  You can tell it’s not fresh, and just not pure. 

Recently I’ve been skipping out on the processed juice and going to the little fridge area in the produce section and trying different options on the ‘organic’ juice shelf.  I’ve tried all the Odwalla brand juices, and other brands that tasted more soupy than juice should. The most recent brand I’ve tried is by far the closest to what mom used to give me every time I walked through the door.  It’s a small juice company local to Atlanta called Arden’s Garden.  Sorry everybody reading this outside of Hotlanta, but you don’t know what you’re missing.  Arden’s Garden is a locally run juicer that not only has 4 of its own stores, but you can find the products at most Krogers’, Publix, and Whole Foods stores in the metro Atlanta area. They have all kinds of flavors, juices from fruits you’ve probably never thought about drinking before, (like orange, apple, mango juice) and combinations that will rock your world.  I actually told my mom about this the other day, and she was a little smug. She said she’d have to try it before she could say it was as good as hers.   But my mom, being a nurse, was glad to see I was getting my vitamins since she quit giving me Flintstones Vitamins when I was a kid.  All in all, I’ve found a new drink to get every time I pop into Kroger for something I need for dinner.